Article Source:
Toronto Star
You love your pet. You love your social media. Now the question becomes: Do you love your cat enough to sign it up for Twitter?
I know, right? This sounds ridiculous. How is Dr. Stardust going to tweet when he still doesn’t understand “Come here” or “Get down from there?” How will he master text-based communication with a zero-word vocabulary and no opposable thumbs?
Never mind all of that.
If the prospect of a twittering feline strikes your fancy, feast on this (see what I did there?): Sony Computer Science Laboratories has unveiled a prototype gadget called the “Lifelogging Device.”
Developed with the University of Tokyo — and possibly a company that specializes in awkward names — the device is equipped with GPS, acceleration sensors, a smart camera and processor.
Not included is the cost of future pet psychiatry.
Here’s how it works: 1) You attach the device to your cat’s collar. 2) The device records data and “deduces” activities such as walking, eating and sleeping. 3) This data is transmitted to a computer via Bluetooth. 4) The activities are then converted into tweets.
As the website Tech-On explained this week: “For example, it is possible to automatically post a comment like, ‘This tastes good’ when a cat is eating something.”
The device can also identify other cats through recognition software. So, in theory, if two neighbourhood cats are wearing the device, it may be possible to monitor their conversation.
Cat 1: “You too?”
Cat 2: “They put it on me yesterday. It smells like iPod. What is it?”
Cat 1: “It’s called a Lifelogging Device. My owner now follows me on Twitter. She reads my tweets at work. Sometimes she’ll retweet or reply.”
Cat 2: “Really? What does she write?”
Cat 1: “I can’t read, you idiot!”
It’s not just cats that are getting nudged toward microblogging and oversharing.
Earlier this year, Mattel announced a new product called “Puppy Tweets.” Similar to Sony’s Lifelogging Device, this gadget attaches to a dog’s collar and communicates with a receiver that connects to your computer. It’s due in stores this fall.
As a Mattel executive told CNN: “Puppy Tweets capitalizes on two popular trends — the use of social media and real-time communication, as well as peoples’ extreme love for their dogs.”
I have no reason to doubt this second point. Just the other day, I was walking through the parking lot of a Leaside pet store when I passed a bulldog and its owner. Guess which one was wearing a hat?
The bigger question is this: Should we be headed in this direction as a society?
Do we really want to live in a world in which parakeets flirt with cockatoos on MySpace? Do we want our German Shepherds and Chihuahuas scrutinizing resumés and searching for new dog walkers on LinkedIn?
And you think it’s weird now getting Facebook friend requests from people you barely knew during childhood? Just wait until you start getting them from their pets.
“Hi. I’m adding you as a friend because my owner Bill says you guys used to sit together in Mrs. Jacobs’ Grade 8 math class. He still can’t calculate how much kibble to feed me . . . LOL.”
Then there’s the issue of how social media will impact our beloved pets.
The Internet is rewiring the human brain at an alarming speed. We’re turning into a species of hyper-distracted zombies that can’t finish a thought without hey is that glitter on my jeans.
Our animals deserve better.
Dear reader, as I finish this dispatch, the cats are curled up near my computer. As usual, they have nothing to say.
